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Modern wedding customs have their origins in
the past, many coming from the Middle Ages. The
following explanations of these wedding
traditions will provide you with a better
understanding of why we perform certain
"rituals" in regards to marriage ceremonies.
Tie the Knot
In ancient Rome, the bride wore a girdle
fastened with many tiny knots. The groom had the
pleasure of untying all those knots before he
could bed his new wife.
Engagement Rings
The giving of an "engagement" ring was first
practiced when the groom "purchased" his bride.
By giving a token, such as a ring, he pledged to
marry her in return for her dowry and social
status, among other things. The tradition of
giving a diamond began with the Italians. It was
believed that diamonds were created from the
"flames of love" and represented everlasting
love.
Wedding Bands
The ancient Egyptians began the practice of
wearing a wedding band. It was a symbol of
unending love, since the ring has no beginning
and no end. Giving a wedding band of gold
represented purity. In medieval England, the
practice of wearing the ring on the third finger
of the left hand was because of the belief that
the veins in the left hand led directly to the
heart. By wearing the ring on this finger, the
couple were "joined at the heart."
What Kind of Bride?
A January bride will be a prudent housekeeper,
and very good tempered.
White Wedding Dress
Selecting a white wedding dress is one of the
more recent wedding customs. It was Queen
Victoria (1840) who began the present day
fashion of wearing white as the wedding dress -
up until then, the bride usually wore her best
dress, regardless of the color. It is also
considered unlucky for the bride to make her own
wedding dress. You can read more about
Victorian wedding traditions here.
Married in White, you have chosen right,
Something Old, Something New...
Some wedding customs haven't changed much over
the years. Everyone has heard the following
rhyme:
Something old, something new
Something old signifies the life you had with
friends and family previous to the marriage.
Something new signifies your future life with
your new mate.
Something borrowed was usually something
borrowed from a happy former bride to ensure the
current bride's happiness, and which is later
returned.
Something blue represents the bride's purity
and faithfulness (this comes from the Jewish
tradition where the bride wear's blue to
represent fidelity).
The silver sixpence in the shoe is to ensure
wealth to the couple in their married life (most
people now opt to put a penny in their shoe).
Cans Tied To The Bumper
Back in the Middle Ages, it was traditional
for people to bang pots, ring cow bells and
generally make a lot of discordant noise after
the ceremony to ward off evil spirits. In modern
history, it became traditional to tie tin cans
to the bumper in reflection of this old
practice.
Tossing The Garter
It used to be customary for the bride to
remove her stocking garter and toss it to the
men. However, as the men at that time tended to
get rather drunk and rowdy, they would often
grow impatient and proceed to remove the garter
themselves. As you can imagine, this was not fun
for the bride at all and could get quite nasty.
Eventually, one bride got the brilliant idea to
toss her bridal bouquet to the women
instead...and much safer.
Stag or Bachelor Parties
As wedding customs go, these rowdy parties
were the invention of the Spartan Soldiers. It
became traditional for the groom to feast with
his friends the night before the marriage, often
celebrating his last night of freedom by getting
severely drunk (not much has changed it seems).
In modern times, women have decided they also
want their night of fun, so now many women have
Stagette or Bachelorette parties as well.
Bridal Shower
The bride's friends would gather together to
help prepare the bride for her wedding. Often,
they would bring a small gift. It became popular
in the 1800's to place these gifts in a parasol
and then open the parasol over the bride's head,
"showering" her with these gifts. Wedding
customs such as this have changed somewhat over
the years, thank goodness.
Another story on this tradition states that a
Dutch maiden wished to marry a poor miller's
son. Her father did not approve of the match, as
it was beneath her station and he refused to
provide a dowry. In turn, the bride's friends
felt sorry for her, so they gathered together
and "showered" her with many gifts so she would
have a dowry to start her new home.
The Wedding Veil
In addition to the groom not being allowed to
see the bride before the ceremony, the veil was
also used to protect the bride from being seen
by evil spirits and jealous suitors (the one and
the same perhaps?). To this day, it is
considered bad luck for the groom to see the
bride on their wedding day before the ceremony.
Tying Shoes To The Bumper of a Car
There are several different wedding customs
that are referenced to shoes. In ancient Egypt,
the bride's father would hand her sandals to the
groom, indicating that she now belonged to him.
In medieval England, it became popular for the
people to throw their shoes at the bridal couple
(why people would think to do this, for whatever
the reason, is beyond me). It was considered
lucky if the shoes hit the couple or their
carriage.
In our modern day society, we just elect to
tie the shoes to the bumper, which is a much
wiser choice!
Cloudy or Sunny Day
There are several superstitions about how the
weather will affect the couple's life on the day
of the marriage. Keep in mind, these are just
superstitions.
Should the day be cloudy and rainy, it
signifies that the marriage will be stormy.
Should the day be sunny, the couple will have a
bright future. Should it rain in the morning and
be sunny in the afternoon, it will bring luck to
the couple.
The Day and Month To Wed
Believe it or not, there were also
superstitions on the day and month that a couple
wed on, as the following 2 rhymes show:
Monday for wealth
Needless to say, marrying on Friday the 13th
was the worst of luck. As for the months:
Married when the year is new, he'll be loving,
kind and true.
The Wedding Kiss
Some wedding customs date back to Roman times.
The kiss was to seal the marriage legally
between the couple and must be witnessed by
another person.
The Wedding Banns
The Catholic Church implemented their own
wedding customs. The announcement of the
upcoming marriage was given for 3 consecutive
Sundays before the wedding, so that if anyone
had any objections, they could voice them. In
today's society, the Officiate at the wedding
simply asks if anyone has any objections "or
forever hold thy peace".
Handfasting
It was a common practice for the bride and
groom to hold hands and proclaim their unity to
witnesses. The couple could then live for a year
and a day as a married couple. After this time
period had passed, should the couple wish to
part ways, they could with no hard feelings.
Should they wish to stay together, a priest was
usually called in to perform the marriage rites
to make the union legally binding.
The Bridal Party
The friends of the bride and those of the
groom, would gather together to offer moral
support and help prepare for the wedding.
Additional wedding customs of that period also
had the bridal party dressing in similar clothes
as the couple, so evil spirits would be confused
as to whom the bride and groom were.
Bridal Bouquet
A bridal bouquet signified the bride's
feelings toward the marriage, by the type of
flowers she carried (see
Wedding Flower Meaning). It became
traditional for the bride to throw the bridal
bouquet to the unmarried female guests (see
Tossing the Garter above). The superstition is
that whoever catches the bouquet will be the
next to marry.
Throwing Rice
Rice grows abundantly and quickly, therefore
it is a symbol for fertility. Guests would throw
rice at the couple to ensure prosperity and
fertility. Wedding customs such as this are
still used today, often in the form of birdseed
or confetti.
Wedding Bells
People would bring bells, pots, pans and any
other thing that they could bang and make a loud
discordant noise with. This was said to drive
away the evil spirits who might be lingering
near the couple.
Carrying The Bride Over The Threshold
It is said that if the bride stumbles while
crossing the threshold to her new home, she will
have a bumpy and unhappy marriage. To avoid
this, the groom picks her up and carries her
over the threshold, thereby ensuring a happy and
prosperous marriage.
The Honeymoon
This relates back to when the groom kidnapped
the bride and kept her hidden away from her
family. They often drank honeyed mead while in
hiding for more than a month (one moon cycle)...
hence the origins of the word honeymoon.
Honking of Car Horns
Again, this relates back to when the people of
the village banged pots and pans after the
ceremony to ward off evil spirits. In modern
times, our wedding customs dictate that we blow
car horns while following the bridal procession
to the reception to announce the marriage.
Bride Stands To The Groom's Left
In the past, sometimes a jealous suitor would
try to take the bride away from the groom. The
groom would hold the bride off to the side with
his left hand, leaving his right hand free to
grip his sword and fight. To this day, the bride
stands to the groom's left while marrying. |
| Wedding Customs & Traditions by Rose Smith |
